garnetkisses

Holy Cow~!

2004-06-17T21:51:35Z

Iwas just coming here because I was bored and had nothing better to do at the time and I noticed how long I have been MIA.

So I'd like to say sorry and update you all on my life as it is today.
One of the bigest thing that has happened to me lately is that Joshua changed his mind again and wants to get married next summer(2005). Then after we get married I will be moving to Japan. ECCCCK!!! Scaryness.

Other then that I'm still training horses. And in 2 months I'm going to be moving out of my dads house because I want to make it on my own before I get married.

Anyways thats all for now.
I hope Y'all are doing well

Megs

Why?

2004-02-09T22:48:02Z

Hello everyone,
I havent written in here for along time and I'm sorry... Theres just be a lot of shit going on I my life lately.

I'm going to tell the happy stuff first.
Last weekend I got my horse Lucy to come back to Denver. Which really made my day. I have been playing with her for the last to days and shes so different. Its like I have a new horse... But I guess for $5,000 I should feel like I have a new horse.

My brother has been weird and everytime I call Joshua my boyfriend he tells me NO hes your fiancee. Its so cute. And then that other day I was signing my name and then I started signing it with Joshua last name. I was just joking around. Then I asked my brother which he likes better my name with Joshua last name or my name with my last name and he told me he likes it with Joshua last name more...
So, I'm going to ask all you.
Do you like the name
1)Megan Jenice Keto
or
2)Megan Jenice Schiernbeck
more?

Okay, I guess thats all the good things that are going on right now. So on to the bad. I'm not going to give a lot of details because it still hurt me to think about it.

So, you all know how I would think Joshuas mother as one of my best friend? Well I was really wrong about that. I'm not saying she hates me at all. Just in a conversation she told Joshua that she doesnt think that I'm the right person for him and then she started telling him who she thinks is right for him and his dad thinks that same way about it all. I feel so betrayed now. I guess its just part of life. I just really glad that its Joshuas call because he still says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He also stood up to his parents and told them that I was the one for him and mainly that they will never change that. But I guess thats as far as I want to get into that.

I'll keep posting and sorry again for stopping. I hope you all understand.

<3 Megs

Its been so time

2004-02-05T07:50:40Z

Last:
x: movie you rented = seabiscit
:x: movie you bought = i got drity dancing for christmas... does that count?
:x: song you listened to = I love this Bar- Toby keith
:x: song that was stuck in your head = I think i love you- Toby
:x: cd you bought = Shock 'n Yall-Toby keith... Yeah I like toby
:x: cd you listened to = the one above
:x: person you've called = Sean
:x: tv show you've watched = 9 news
:x: person you were thinking of = Joshua
:x: you think about suicide = not recently
:x: you believe in online dating = well, thats how I meet my Joshua so
:x: you want more piercings = yes
:x: you drink = sometimes
:x: you do drugs = nope
:x: you smoke = not me, I don't mind it though...

FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = I dont like them but I'm in one so...
:x: using someone = against
:x: killing people = against
:x: teenage smoking = smoking can kill you... but it there life
:x: premarital sex = Hell yeah
:x: driving drunk = against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = Its not my thing... but I hate the people that like that life style

HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a guy/girl = not over them
:x: ever lied to someone = yes... not proud of it
:x: ever been arrested = no thank goodness

NUMBER...
:x: of times you have been in love? = 1
:x: of times you have had your heart broken? = Many times... if you count everytime he comes home, I fall back in love with him, and then he has to leave
:x: of hearts you have broken? = Do I have to count... I'm make me feel bad
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = 1
:x: of people you would classify as true friends, that you could trust with your life = 4
:x: of people you consider your enemies? = A few
:x: of things in your past that you regret? = Nothing really, there are things I would have done or handled differently, but nothing that I regret

FAVORITE...
:x: scent = Joshua, rain, & the ocean
:x: word = Grrr?
:x: eye color = blue
:x: flower = orchids
:x: piercings = belly

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty = sure do
:x: funny = absolutely
:x: hot = been told....
:x: friendly = very
:x: amusing = very
:x: loveable = yes
:x: pessimistic = not really
:x: optimistic = sometimes
:x: caring = very.. not much at times
:x: sweet = very
:x: dorky = very
:x: Spell your first name back wards: nagem
:x: The story behind your user name: i love garnets and I wear red lipstick all the time
:x: 4 words that sum you up: Sweet, cute, loved & Happy

DESCRIBE YOUR...
:x: Wallet = bown with little stars
:x: Toothbrush = Which one... lol I have 4
:x: Jewelry worn daily = Joshua high school ring, and star cut diamond ear rings first hole... 14carat studs ear rings in 2nd and a garnet ear ring in the top of my right ear
:x: Pillow cover = 2 silver, 2 leopard, 2 flower
:x: Blanket = plain white
:x: Coffee cup = white with little red hearts
:x: Sunglasses = i have none
:x: Shoes = white adidas w/ pink strips
:x: Handbag = none
:x: Favorite shirt = ummm... I would have to think about that
:x: CD in stereo right now = toby Keith
:x: What you are wearing now = Jeans and a white tank top
:x: Hair = Down, straightened
:x: Make-up = none
:x: In my mouth = my tongue
:x: In my head = what my fave shirt is
:x: Wishing = to be in Joshuas arms
:x: After this = waiting to talk to Joshua online
:x: Talking to = Sean
:x: Person you wish you were with = Joshua and only Joshua
:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month = something Joshua sent to me for my birthday... and my horse coming back up.
:x: Something that you are deathly afraid of= Joey getting deployed again :(
:x: Do you like the taste of blood = its not the greatest because that means your mouth is bleeding or something
:x: Do you believe in love = Absolutely
:x: Do you believe in soul mates = Absolutely
:x: Do you believe in love at first sight = Yes
:x: Do you believe in God = Yes
:x: What do you want done with your body when you die = cremated and put into the ocean
:x: Who is your worst enemy? = right now Quinn or better yet any of Tylers friends
:x: If you could have any animal for a pet = a kitten
:x: Ever been to Belgium? = No!
:x: What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to? = San Diego, Seattle, New York, Salt Lake city, Dalles
:x: What's something you wish you could understand better? = Why I cant be with Joshua.

<3 Megs

My birthday tomorow

2004-01-30T20:27:22Z

Today I'm feeling so much better then yesturday... Thank god!

Just a minute ago I was looking at my photo albums and looking at me when I was younger. Its hard for me to think that tomorrow I'm going to be 18.

Oh god Help me!

Tomorrow should be a fun day for me though. I'm getting up really early and I have to run and get stuff for electric fencing and I have to run that along my fence at the barn. I'm also going to be fitting rubber mats in my stall, digging a hole to run wires for the fence, find a good grass hay supplier in the Denver/Castle Rock area, get bedding for the stall, move all my tack from my room to the barn, and mix my grain in the bins.
This all has to be done before noon because after that I need to run over to my moms house and change to take my little brother to his basket ball game at 1. But after 3 my day should start to quiet down because after the game I'm going to go over to my moms house play with my 2 dogs and my 2 birds then we are going out to dinner.

Then I'm going to bed!!!!
lol
<3 Megs

A sad day.

2004-01-29T23:02:40Z

This morning as I woke up I was so happy to be alive. I dont know why really I was just all smiles.

Then 3 hours later one of my friends called me and stated asking me all these question about things I miss about having Joshua around.
Like :
Do you miss the way he holds you in his arms?
Do you miss the way he smells?
Ext...
I was like yes very much...
And then after I got off the phone I started thinking about all those things and how much I miss them. Then the tears started coming I cried for about a hour and the I was getting out of it.

After that I started reading messages for one of my online support groups and one of the girls had someone make this video of pictures of her boyfriend? or husband? and in the background was playing Train : When you look at the Sky.
This song I swear will make anyone one in a Navy relationship at least cry. Maybe anyone in a military relationship.
As I was watching and listening to it I start balling again... And I'm still crying now... I need to just go lay in my bad and cry I think or get out and try to cheer up. I dont know.

But heres the lyrics to that song. Good luck making it to the end with out at least a tear coming to your eye.

<3 Mes

Artist : Train
Song : When I Look To The Sky

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me

WOW!

2004-01-28T01:25:48Z

Hello all.

I talked to Joshua last night and everything is fine. Just that we arent going to get married for a long while. But I guess I'll get over it. Atleast he made a commitment to me and I know he wont cheat on me. My friend Crystal is about to break out with her boyfriend because he wont make a commitment at all to her and the have been together off and on a little longer then Joshua and I. I can see where shes comeing from an away because Tyler have a problem with cheating. So I dont know.

Today I have been driving around every where trying to find supplys for electric fencing for my new barn, because my horse has a problem with trying to push down fences. She has done it many times and I have had over $6,000 in vet bills from that alone... So, I'm going to set up a hot wire running along the fence line so 1) she will stay off of it and 2) she'll be away so she doesnt get cut.

Wow, I just worked out for an hour and I'm feeling great! My pass time lately has been to work out and just get my mind off everything around me.

But back to driving around.
talk to you laters

<3 Megs

I dont get it!

2004-01-26T20:06:52Z

So, I talked to Joshua last night. It was great to hear from him. And then we started talking about his leave and how in 1 1/2 years he can come home for a month... Yippee... The only think is that he has to tell them hes getting married to take it all and then he said that he'll just tell them that we changed our minds when he got back.
Okay, Joshua as most of you know have been together for close to a 2 years and we are "engaged".
Before he left we had it all figured out when we were going to get married. We didnt have a date or anything because making a date is almost impossible to do in a military relationship. In a sense the military pick the date for you. But we said the we were going to get married during this month thier giving him and then after that he was going to take his leave to speand time with me and his family.
Now less then a year laster that has all changed. Now he cant even give me a year that he thinks we're going to get married...
I guess I just understand what changed so quickly. I know he loves me and everything but is that going to change in a year too?
I dont want to presser him into something he doesnt want to do. I just want to understand what happened to make something like that change so quickly.

<3 Megs

White Stuff falling from the Sky

2004-01-26T07:02:30Z

YIPPEE!!!!
Its snowing!

Man, I love snow when I'm inside where its all warm.

Today I went and saw my horse. She was a dirty mess. But thats my Lucy. Its like any hour drive to where she is now. But that will all change over the next weekend. Then she'll only be like 15 mins away! I'm so happy.
As we were driving home from seeing her the weather started getting really bad. And all the sudden you couldnt see but 3 feet in front of you. It was wild. That was at around 5:30 today and now at mid nite theres a foot of snow on the ground... and Its cold!

But I'm going to watch the snow and fall asleep in front of my fire place...
Nite all!

<3 Megs

Theme song!

2004-01-24T23:40:43Z

Hello everyone.
I hope you all are doing well.

Last night as you all know I went out with Crystal and we ended not up going to the movie but we did buy one and got drunk...
I love being a lightweight because its so cheap to get me drunk. Like $4.00 and I'm set. Its great!
I'm so happy for Crystal because her boyfriend (tyler) called last night... Sure, I was sitting in her livingroom for like an hour alone. But I know how it feels to have your boyfriend that you havent heard from in a few days call. God knows I have canceled plans to talk to my Joshua. Its all part of having a long distance relationship. Crystal made a comment that I tell Joshua all the time. It was, "Sometimes it feels like we are already married."
I love how her and I are like on the same level and we can talk about everything... And we do.

So after a long night last night we had to get up at 7 am... I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep and it wasnt in a row. I was getting up and down all night. But anyways at 7 am we had to go to PetMart to get a pet carrier and cash her check. Then had to be in the mountains where Tys mom works to get her cats shoots done... So, we got to the vets and they were so busy! We were there from 10:45 until 1:15 and then they saw the cat and it took only like 15 mins... It was crazy! But it was nice to see Tys mom Jennifer.

I got home around 3 and Crystal and I were talking because she wants to move to Cali this July or Aug... Which really sucks for me because then I'll have no one to hang out with...

I'm thinking about moving out there with her because I think I'm going to be going to school out there for marine bio and I want to work at Sea World out there. But I'm still thinking about becoming a full time horse trainer and in time starting my own barn and maybe breed horses and crap... I dont know yet... They both have there good a bad points. Just like anything...
See with being a horse trainer and having my own barn I would have more time with my family (after I start one.) But at the sametime its hard to get started in.
With marine bio/ Sea world... I would be working long hours lots of schooling... But after I got a job it would be a long term thing.

**What do you people think? Marine Bio or Horse trainer?**

Anyways, I really hope I get to talk to Joshua tonight about this... and tomorrow I think I'm seeing my horse!!! I havent seen her in a month... I think I'm going to die if I dont.

Happy Birthday My Love! XOXO

Thats all for now.
<3 Meg

P.S:

Chrome, She can see herself In the shiny grill and the
Wire wheels of a red Chevelle with four on the floor and the top down
Chrome, zippin' by on an Electra Glide
With dual tail pipes doin' 105 in the broad daylight
On a two-lane headin' outta town

Forget Pink and purple paisleys
little mellow-yellow daisies
Ain't no pot of gold in her rainbow
Her favorite color is ..Chrome

Chrome, get her leg up high
on the bumper of my big black Mack truck
With a smoke stack pointed towards the sky
And mud flaps, you know the kind
Chrome,I said hey little girl you sure look nice
Do you wanna ride, I won't bite, she climbs inside
Says hell no, I want to drive

Forget Pink and purple paisleys
little mellow-yellow daisies
Ain't no pot of gold in her rainbow
Her favorite color is ..Chrome

It's chrome alright Shiny,nice polished
Chrome, Chrome

Forget Pink and purple paisleys
little mellow-yellow daisies
Ain't no pot of gold in her rainbow
Her favorite color is ..Chrome

Her favorite color is...chrome
That girl is all about chrome
She sure loves chrome

Hmmm....

2004-01-23T21:45:38Z

Hello
How are you today?
I'm doing good. Just a little bored and getting ready to go out.

So last night I was online talking to Joshua and his mother and Joshua and I were looking at watches that he wants because I got one for him to use at work of Christmas and I want to get him a dress one too. He sent me a picture of the one he wants. Which is really good for me because that last one I got him I was worried the whole time that he wouldnt like it. It turns out he didnt like it. Lucky for me. So, I'm going to get it for him or what not.

After that both him and his mom got really quiet. They werent saying anything to me. I was like what are you doing and Joshua told me shopping...
Me I'm not one that really wants anyone to get me anything. I rather get them something. So I was like okay. Then a few minutes later he asks me,"are you allergic to platinum." I told him no...

So, all I know is that he got me something and I'm not sure what and I dont know if I even want to know. And the greatest thing is I dont even know when its supose to come. I could think of a reason to send me something for the next 3 months. January is my 18h birthday, Febuary Valentines Day, and March 13th is our annaviery... So I have lots of questions but no anwsers... It feels weird.

Anyways, tonight I'm going with Crystal to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre and going to stay at her house because I know both of us will be freaked out and wont want to be alone. I wish that Joshua and Tyler were her so that they could protect us. Okay Joshua my not be have much help because come to think of it he was the one hiding behind me when we saw The Ring... but still I want him.

So, like today/tomorrow is Joshua's birthday... Today because where he is its a day ahead of us and tomorrow because his birthday is the 24... So I dont know what day to tell him Happy Birthday... I guess I'll just do both.

Happy Birthday Joshua! XOXO

Okay and to think in 11 days I'm going to be 18... Yes our birthdays are a week apart. But hes turning 20 so it really 2 years and a week.

But anyways, I need to finish getting ready...

<3 Megs

what song

2004-01-23T03:52:06Z

What song, if any, reminds you of me?

<3 Megs

moderob

2004-01-22T03:27:22Z

You are Handcuffs!

Yup, the plain metal kind. But you are far from plain.

You are, in fact, so freakin' kinky that handcuffs are no big deal for you.

Sure, you'll include them, but you don't need novelty cuffs to make things fun.

You've got enough little kinky tricks in your book, as is!

What Kind of Handcuffs Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Mmmmm...Your Boobs Are Perfect!

Shapeley, firm, and a total man pleaser. Well, at least for now.

Remember that beauty fades (unless you have a fake pair)!

Your perfect breasts eventually will go sour - and South!

Do *You* Need a Boob Job? Click Here to Find Out!

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You Are a Moderate Madame!

You've heard of occasional vegetarians, who mainly prefer vegetables, but just
can't resist their needs for meat once in a while.

That's how kinky sex is for you.

No one would dare classify you as prude.

You've done your share of experimentation, and you've found some things you like.

Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!

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Your Sexual Power Animal is a Penguin!

Choosy, selective, and monogamous.

Not only are you picky when it comes to sex.

You tend to stick with the same partner for a long time

And since you're so picky, it takes a lot to get you

Once you're impressed, then you'll put out

What's Your Sexual Power Animal?

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<3 Megs

blah blah blah...

2004-01-22T02:53:42Z

Hello everyone...
I hope everyones day went well. My day was pretty good.

I stayed the night over at my friend Crytals house last night and we went to Target at like 10 pm and then to the store for ice cream at like 10 to 1...
We are such dorks... but its okay. I was fun.

We decided that next week we are going to go shopping for our guys for V-day because I have to send my crap out soon-ish. I sent Joshua stuff for christmas like on the 17th or something and he didnt get it until almost a month later...
Crazy mail
Hey at least hes getting something for V-day, right?

So, Crystal and I have decided that V-day I'm going go over to her house and we are going to cry. And talk about how much we love our boys and get drunk... Sounds good to me... I guess its better then crying alone in your room.

I guess thats all...

<3 Megs

LOA Joshua

Long time no post~!

2004-01-20T07:06:34Z

Wow! I havent posted in a long time.
Sorry all!

I just commented in most of your journals and I'll be commenting more when I have something to say.

So, tonight I went out with my friend Crystal to talk to her and try to get her mind off her boyfriend that just left today to go back to Pen for more training.
This is the first time she has had to say hi and bye to the one she loves in a matter of weeks. Need less to say she needed to have someone that knows how it feels. I think thats why we are getting so close because you all know Joshua is in the military and I have learned how to cope when this are hard. Sure I still have really bad days and by no means am I saying I have all the anwsers or even have a 1/4 of them. But I do know that when it hurts so bad that you sometimes need a friend that understands how you feel.
So, we went to dinner and watched Fear Factor (Dont watch this when you are eating... I learned it the hard way.) and we went to the collage to get books for her because she starts her classes tomorrow.

*Quick question: What is up with guys? Will they hit on any thing with legs?*

I asked this because when we were at the collage I got hit on by 5 different guys and we were only there for like 30 mins...
And I'll just say it, I looked like ass! I had no make up on I was wearing a part of my riding pants with a hole below my butt and I had my hair pulled back in a messy bun.
Sure Joshua says I always look good... and thats a lie!!! I really have to work hard to look good.
So, after all that I just pushed up my sleeves so that everyone could see Joshua high school ring on my left hand and that made them stop hitting on me...
Thank you Joshua for your ring... ::kisses::

Other then that my day was quiet just like I like it...

Nite time

<3 Megs

Oh my goodness

2004-01-16T20:18:35Z

I just got this CD last night and I love it!!!
Its sooo funny... Of course we all love the the song

I'm just trying to be a father,
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,
Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all in my business suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,
I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,
I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,
I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,
And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrafice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dyin's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,
'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an american soldier, an american,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,
I'm out here on the front lines, sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier

But the one that go me laughing the hardest is

"I'm just a middle-aged, middle-eastern camel herdin' man
I got a, 2 bedroom cave here in North Afghanistan
Things used to be real nice and they got out of hand when they moved in
They call themselves the Taliban
(ooooo yeah the taliban) (taliban baby)

Now I ain't seen my wife's face since they came here
They make her wear a scarf over her head that covers her from ear to ear
She loves the desert and the hot white sand
But man she's just like me, nah she can't stand
The Taliban (ooo taliban baby)

You know someday soon we're both gonna saddle up and it'll be
Ride Camel Ride
My old lady she'll be here with me, smilin right by my side
We should do just fine down in Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan
We'll bid a fair adieu and flip the finger to the Taliban
(oh yeah the taliban) (baby)

Now they attacked New York City cause they thought they could win
Said they would, stand and fight until the very bloody end
Mr Bush got on the phone with Iraq and Iran and said "Now, you
sons of bitchs you better not be doin any business with the taliban"
(Taliban baby)

So we prayed to Allah with all of our might
And then those big U.S. jets came flyin one night
They dropped little bombs all over our holy land
And man you should have seen em run like rabbits, they ran
(the taliban)

You know someday soon we're both gonna saddle up and it'll be
Ride Camel Ride
My old lady she'll be here with me, smilin right by my side
We should do real fine down around Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan
We'll bid a fair audo and flip a couple fingers to the Taliban
(oh yeah, taliban)
we'll bid a fair adieu and flip a finger to The Taliban (baby)"

I'm truly sorry if that offends anyone.

<3 Megs

Whimp!

2004-01-15T16:12:41Z

Okay,
I'm going to start by saying sorry to all of my friends because I haven't been posting anything or commenting.
SO, SORRY!!!! I have have been pretty busy and stuff getting ready to move my horse back closer to where I live.

So, yesterday my dog took a pretty big chunk of skin from her side. Its wasnt bleeding or anything so I wasnt really the worried about it... I just cleaned it up and put some Fura Dress on it (I love this stuff its for dogs and horses and I use it on my horse all the time.)and put a bandage on it.
This morning I wake up and my dad tells me he's taking her to the vet to see if she needs stitches.
I had every intention of going because thats one of my babies. So, we call her normal vet and he happened to be out of town. Then my dad called a vet that he took my cat to when she was sick.
This cat was my world almost I couldnt sleep without her on my bed. She would fallow me around like a dog. she was just the greatest. My dad taking her to that vet was the last time I saw her. So, today I couldnt bring myself to go to the vet because thats the last place my cat was and to this day I still want to kill myself for not going.
*Okay, just so you all know this thing with my cat isnt something that was a long time ago or anything. I guess it was around the middle of November. And I still have a hard time sleeping because shes no longer with us.*
I started to cry after I told my dad that I think I just want him to go and then he asked me why and I was already trying to hold back the tears and as I went to tell him they just rounded out.
Has anyone else had this problem?

Anyway, last night I went shopping with some of my old friends and had a blast. We went out to eat and went to the mall nothing big. It was just nice to feel like I have a life.
I got a birthday card for my man and this really cute book to put his letters he sends me in. This book has the American flag in beads on the cover. I figured why not because it was 50% off so it was only $8. So, I figured that if his letters are to big to fit in it I can always use it for something else.
I think thats all for now...

<3 Megs

A little something.

2004-01-14T00:25:13Z

Oaky I just wanted to write alittle something about my day before I run out of here to go get grain for my horse.

Today was pretty quiet. I worked out for about an hour this morning and went for a run with my dog. One of my friends from high school gave me a call. which was really nice to hear. And it turns out that she is now best friends with my best friend in grade school and middle school. So, I may go out with them tonight but i really dont know. I'm going to be commenting on everyones journal as soon as i get home...

<3 Megs

New layout

2004-01-12T22:19:51Z

Hello everyone!
As you can see I was really bored today and I decided to change my layout.
Tell me what you think.

So, today I got my letter from Joshua!!!
Yippee
It was so nice and like I was thinking it made me cry. I think he wrote it just to make me cry.
Just kidding I know my love wouldnt do that.
This letter made all my letters look bad it was like two legal size pages and he used all the lines on them. Me I just write on notebook paper and its only one page... I feel like a loser. but thats life.
Anyways, I know as long as I have this letter I will never think that he doesnt love me and if I start thinking that all I have to do is read the first page.
The first page is all about why he loves me. I'm not going to quote it because it just those little things all of us girls love to hear but really never hear from our guys. I dont know its just great!

But thats all I really have to talk about right now. So, I'm going go run and then go read my letter again!!!

<3 Megs

LOA Joshua

New layout

2004-01-12T22:18:33Z

Hello everyone!
As you can see I was really bored today and I decided to change my layout.
Tell me what you think.

So, today I got my letter from Joshua!!!
Yippee
It was so nice and like I was thinking it made me cry. I think he wrote it just to make me cry.
Just kidding I know my love wouldnt do that.
This letter made all my letters look bad it was like two legel size pages and he used all the lines on them. Me I just write on notebook paper and its only one page... I feel like a loser. but thats life.
Anyways, I know as long as I have this letter I will never think that he doesnt love me and if I start thinking that all I have to do is read the first page.
The first page is all about why he loves me. I'm not going to quote it because it just those little things all of us girls love to hear but really never hear from our guys. I dont know its just great!

But thats all I really have to talk about right now. So, I'm going go run and then go read my letter again!!!

<3 Megs

LOA Joshua

I cant believe it!

2004-01-12T02:40:05Z

I was just noticing that no one has really written anything in the journals today so I have not one to comment to. Ahhhh! What do you people think your doing to me? Well, I guess it is only 7.20 pm so most of you havent gotten home from your busy lives... Me on the other hand I dont really have a life right now but thats okay.

Okay, this going to sound really bad but I'm starting to get really scared of my little brother. Sure hes only 13 but hes close to 6'0" but heres why I'm really scared of him:
Today has been pretty quite around my house and I have been watching my brothers eating habits because I'm noticing him do things that I use to do... (at one time i had a eating disorder.) like he didnt eat breakfast or dinner and all he had today was an apple. So, I was coming up stairs because i just finished dinner and as i walk by my brother I went to pinch him on the side because thats one thing I have always done and he walk by me and tickles me or something... But this time as i went to pinch him he pushs me into one of our poles in our basement that hold up the I beam. It wasnt just a push like get away it was hard and I'm all bruised up on my side and my dad thinks I cracked a rib. I guess what I'm scared of is I see him getting my dads temper and thats not good! My dad has always had a really bad temper at times and I to this day am so scare when he gets mad about anything it really bugs me that my brother is getting it too. But I guess theres nothing I can really do. Just stay out of his way.

Anyways, I need to go lay down... Talk to you all later.

<3 Megs

poem

2004-01-11T07:51:50Z

Okay, I know many of you dont like reading poems. So, for you people I'm going to put it behind a cut so that the ones that do like reading them can.

My Dearest Love,
Although we're far apart,
Always I feel you so near.
For you are always here
Inside of my heart.
A place where I hold you
So close and dear...
This distance between us
At times is hard to bear.
For I want to reach out
And tenderly touch you...
Sometimes life could seem
To be so unfair.
Yet distance will never
Stop my heart from loving you...
I once heard that
"Patience is a virture"
Well a saint I must be...
For I shall wait my
Entire life through.
Cause' baby - without a doubt
"You're My Everything"

<3 Megs

Sorry Joshua I just have to

2004-01-11T07:40:10Z

Well today was pretty boring! but tomorrow I have more things to do... Mainly tomorrow I have to got to the horse supply store and get grain and crap and I know I'll end up spending at least $50 on tack! This horse is so expensive! but I love every minut of it!

So, yesturday I was talking to Joshua on line and we started talking about this army guy that wants me to break out with Joshua so bad. when wants me to go out with him. So, hes always telling me that Navy guys are "funny" (gay!) I just blow him off and or what not and then I was like my fiance isnt gay... but that didnt matter! I was just like whatever and the whole thing made me laugh. So, I decided to e-mail it to Joshua. And in the middle of this conv. with this guy i say did you forget what my family backgournd is. and by that i was saying i know not all Navy guys are gay because I'm the first girl i 10 generations of Naval men and none of them are gay. then Joshua tells me:
"well for waiting 10 generations to have a girl they couldn't have made a better one for me ."
I read it twice to make sure I wasnt reading it wrong and after I got what he was saying I started tearing up. then ran down stairs to get my phone to tell someone. seeing how i live with my dad I didnt just run outside and tell him because he wouldnt really care. So I call my mom and shes like awww you have the wool pulled over this guys eyes. Which is so far from the truth because I tell him more about me than I tell my parents. After I got off the phone I told him how sweet he is and how I love him and then he told me just wait for his letter he just sent me. So i dont know i think that letter may make me cry for weeks! lol

Anyways, now that I have just typed like a year about Joshua I think I'm going to go...

<3 Megs

Just wrote this poem

2004-01-09T05:25:08Z

When it hurts so bad,
why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense,
I wish I understood.
Not having you here with me is tearing me up inside,
but I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.

You know how I feel about you,
and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
but it's so hard to do when I can't even be next to you.
Why does it gotta be so complicated?

Loving you feels so right,
but at the same time,
knowing I can't have you keeps me awake at night.
I just want this to be simple,
I just want you here with me,
to look into your eyes,
be held in your arms...then I'd truly be happy.

Right now this distance between us is out of our control,
but I'm still hoping one day soon,
I'll get what I'm wishing for.

<3 Megs

I love you Joshua

Bored!

2004-01-09T04:54:39Z

I'm so bored and I found this on someones journal. So I decided to fell it out

1.what size bra do u wear? 36dd
2.when did u buy ur 1st bra? I believe I was 9 or 10
3.what did it look like? it was blue
4.what does the bra ur wearing look like? its a black silky strapless from VS
5.do u wish u were smaller or bigger? I'm really happy with my boob size
6.do u have implants? No
7.did u get a reduction? No
8.what color is ur favorite bra? Satin red
9.do u own a strapless bra? yes i'm wearing one now.
10.do u wear low-cut shirts? yes! I dont think i really have any shirts that arent low cut.
11.what do u think of guys who try to look down girls shirts? whatever flows thier boat. Just they better not look down mine because my boyfriend will kill them!

So theres some info that none of you really wanted to know.lol

<3 Megs

Little short update!

2004-01-08T22:31:21Z

Hi I was just going to update everyone alittle... but I'm not sure about what yet...
Well, right now I'm really boring because I'm cleaning my room and havent done really anything else! lol
But tonight I have dinner with my little brother so I'll write about everything that happened today then.

<3 Megs