| Holy Cow~! |
[17 Jun 2004|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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Iwas just coming here because I was bored and had nothing better to do at the time and I noticed how long I have been MIA.
So I'd like to say sorry and update you all on my life as it is today.
One of the bigest thing that has happened to me lately is that Joshua changed his mind again and wants to get married next summer(2005). Then after we get married I will be moving to Japan. ECCCCK!!! Scaryness.
Other then that I'm still training horses. And in 2 months I'm going to be moving out of my dads house because I want to make it on my own before I get married.
Anyways thats all for now.
I hope Y'all are doing well
Megs
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| Why? |
[09 Feb 2004|03:21pm] |
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mood |
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 infuriated |
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When I look to the sky |
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Hello everyone,
I havent written in here for along time and I'm sorry... Theres just be a lot of shit going on I my life lately.
I'm going to tell the happy stuff first.
Last weekend I got my horse Lucy to come back to Denver. Which really made my day. I have been playing with her for the last to days and shes so different. Its like I have a new horse... But I guess for $5,000 I should feel like I have a new horse.
My brother has been weird and everytime I call Joshua my boyfriend he tells me NO hes your fiancee. Its so cute. And then that other day I was signing my name and then I started signing it with Joshua last name. I was just joking around. Then I asked my brother which he likes better my name with Joshua last name or my name with my last name and he told me he likes it with Joshua last name more...
So, I'm going to ask all you.
Do you like the name
1)Megan Jenice Keto
or
2)Megan Jenice Schiernbeck
more?
Okay, I guess thats all the good things that are going on right now. So on to the bad. I'm not going to give a lot of details because it still hurt me to think about it.
So, you all know how I would think Joshuas mother as one of my best friend? Well I was really wrong about that. I'm not saying she hates me at all. Just in a conversation she told Joshua that she doesnt think that I'm the right person for him and then she started telling him who she thinks is right for him and his dad thinks that same way about it all. I feel so betrayed now. I guess its just part of life. I just really glad that its Joshuas call because he still says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He also stood up to his parents and told them that I was the one for him and mainly that they will never change that. But I guess thats as far as I want to get into that.
I'll keep posting and sorry again for stopping. I hope you all understand.
<3 Megs
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| My birthday tomorow |
[30 Jan 2004|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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Today I'm feeling so much better then yesturday... Thank god!
Just a minute ago I was looking at my photo albums and looking at me when I was younger. Its hard for me to think that tomorrow I'm going to be 18.
Oh god Help me!
Tomorrow should be a fun day for me though. I'm getting up really early and I have to run and get stuff for electric fencing and I have to run that along my fence at the barn. I'm also going to be fitting rubber mats in my stall, digging a hole to run wires for the fence, find a good grass hay supplier in the Denver/Castle Rock area, get bedding for the stall, move all my tack from my room to the barn, and mix my grain in the bins.
This all has to be done before noon because after that I need to run over to my moms house and change to take my little brother to his basket ball game at 1. But after 3 my day should start to quiet down because after the game I'm going to go over to my moms house play with my 2 dogs and my 2 birds then we are going out to dinner.
Then I'm going to bed!!!!
lol
<3 Megs
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| A sad day. |
[29 Jan 2004|03:46pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Train- When I look to the sky... ::tears:: |
] |
This morning as I woke up I was so happy to be alive. I dont know why really I was just all smiles.
Then 3 hours later one of my friends called me and stated asking me all these question about things I miss about having Joshua around.
Like :
Do you miss the way he holds you in his arms?
Do you miss the way he smells?
Ext...
I was like yes very much...
And then after I got off the phone I started thinking about all those things and how much I miss them. Then the tears started coming I cried for about a hour and the I was getting out of it.
After that I started reading messages for one of my online support groups and one of the girls had someone make this video of pictures of her boyfriend? or husband? and in the background was playing Train : When you look at the Sky.
This song I swear will make anyone one in a Navy relationship at least cry. Maybe anyone in a military relationship.
As I was watching and listening to it I start balling again... And I'm still crying now... I need to just go lay in my bad and cry I think or get out and try to cheer up. I dont know.
But heres the lyrics to that song. Good luck making it to the end with out at least a tear coming to your eye.
<3 Mes
Artist : Train
Song : When I Look To The Sky
When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye
And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go
Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here
And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away
Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by
And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me
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| WOW! |
[27 Jan 2004|06:25pm] |
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mood |
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 naughty |
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Hello all.
I talked to Joshua last night and everything is fine. Just that we arent going to get married for a long while. But I guess I'll get over it. Atleast he made a commitment to me and I know he wont cheat on me. My friend Crystal is about to break out with her boyfriend because he wont make a commitment at all to her and the have been together off and on a little longer then Joshua and I. I can see where shes comeing from an away because Tyler have a problem with cheating. So I dont know.
Today I have been driving around every where trying to find supplys for electric fencing for my new barn, because my horse has a problem with trying to push down fences. She has done it many times and I have had over $6,000 in vet bills from that alone... So, I'm going to set up a hot wire running along the fence line so 1) she will stay off of it and 2) she'll be away so she doesnt get cut.
Wow, I just worked out for an hour and I'm feeling great! My pass time lately has been to work out and just get my mind off everything around me.
But back to driving around.
talk to you laters
<3 Megs
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| I dont get it! |
[26 Jan 2004|12:39pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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So, I talked to Joshua last night. It was great to hear from him. And then we started talking about his leave and how in 1 1/2 years he can come home for a month... Yippee... The only think is that he has to tell them hes getting married to take it all and then he said that he'll just tell them that we changed our minds when he got back.
Okay, Joshua as most of you know have been together for close to a 2 years and we are "engaged".
Before he left we had it all figured out when we were going to get married. We didnt have a date or anything because making a date is almost impossible to do in a military relationship. In a sense the military pick the date for you. But we said the we were going to get married during this month thier giving him and then after that he was going to take his leave to speand time with me and his family.
Now less then a year laster that has all changed. Now he cant even give me a year that he thinks we're going to get married...
I guess I just understand what changed so quickly. I know he loves me and everything but is that going to change in a year too?
I dont want to presser him into something he doesnt want to do. I just want to understand what happened to make something like that change so quickly.
<3 Megs
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| White Stuff falling from the Sky |
[25 Jan 2004|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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YIPPEE!!!!
Its snowing!
Man, I love snow when I'm inside where its all warm.
Today I went and saw my horse. She was a dirty mess. But thats my Lucy. Its like any hour drive to where she is now. But that will all change over the next weekend. Then she'll only be like 15 mins away! I'm so happy.
As we were driving home from seeing her the weather started getting really bad. And all the sudden you couldnt see but 3 feet in front of you. It was wild. That was at around 5:30 today and now at mid nite theres a foot of snow on the ground... and Its cold!
But I'm going to watch the snow and fall asleep in front of my fire place...
Nite all!
<3 Megs
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| Theme song! |
[24 Jan 2004|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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Chris Cagle: Chicks dig it |
] |
Hello everyone.
I hope you all are doing well.
Last night as you all know I went out with Crystal and we ended not up going to the movie but we did buy one and got drunk...
I love being a lightweight because its so cheap to get me drunk. Like $4.00 and I'm set. Its great!
I'm so happy for Crystal because her boyfriend (tyler) called last night... Sure, I was sitting in her livingroom for like an hour alone. But I know how it feels to have your boyfriend that you havent heard from in a few days call. God knows I have canceled plans to talk to my Joshua. Its all part of having a long distance relationship. Crystal made a comment that I tell Joshua all the time. It was, "Sometimes it feels like we are already married."
I love how her and I are like on the same level and we can talk about everything... And we do.
So after a long night last night we had to get up at 7 am... I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep and it wasnt in a row. I was getting up and down all night. But anyways at 7 am we had to go to PetMart to get a pet carrier and cash her check. Then had to be in the mountains where Tys mom works to get her cats shoots done... So, we got to the vets and they were so busy! We were there from 10:45 until 1:15 and then they saw the cat and it took only like 15 mins... It was crazy! But it was nice to see Tys mom Jennifer.
I got home around 3 and Crystal and I were talking because she wants to move to Cali this July or Aug... Which really sucks for me because then I'll have no one to hang out with...
I'm thinking about moving out there with her because I think I'm going to be going to school out there for marine bio and I want to work at Sea World out there. But I'm still thinking about becoming a full time horse trainer and in time starting my own barn and maybe breed horses and crap... I dont know yet... They both have there good a bad points. Just like anything...
See with being a horse trainer and having my own barn I would have more time with my family (after I start one.) But at the sametime its hard to get started in.
With marine bio/ Sea world... I would be working long hours lots of schooling... But after I got a job it would be a long term thing.
**What do you people think? Marine Bio or Horse trainer?**
Anyways, I really hope I get to talk to Joshua tonight about this... and tomorrow I think I'm seeing my horse!!! I havent seen her in a month... I think I'm going to die if I dont.
Happy Birthday My Love! XOXO
Thats all for now.
<3 Meg
P.S: ( My current theme song )
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| Hmmm.... |
[23 Jan 2004|02:18pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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Hello
How are you today?
I'm doing good. Just a little bored and getting ready to go out.
So last night I was online talking to Joshua and his mother and Joshua and I were looking at watches that he wants because I got one for him to use at work of Christmas and I want to get him a dress one too. He sent me a picture of the one he wants. Which is really good for me because that last one I got him I was worried the whole time that he wouldnt like it. It turns out he didnt like it. Lucky for me. So, I'm going to get it for him or what not.
After that both him and his mom got really quiet. They werent saying anything to me. I was like what are you doing and Joshua told me shopping...
Me I'm not one that really wants anyone to get me anything. I rather get them something. So I was like okay. Then a few minutes later he asks me,"are you allergic to platinum." I told him no...
So, all I know is that he got me something and I'm not sure what and I dont know if I even want to know. And the greatest thing is I dont even know when its supose to come. I could think of a reason to send me something for the next 3 months. January is my 18h birthday, Febuary Valentines Day, and March 13th is our annaviery... So I have lots of questions but no anwsers... It feels weird.
Anyways, tonight I'm going with Crystal to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre and going to stay at her house because I know both of us will be freaked out and wont want to be alone. I wish that Joshua and Tyler were her so that they could protect us. Okay Joshua my not be have much help because come to think of it he was the one hiding behind me when we saw The Ring... but still I want him.
So, like today/tomorrow is Joshua's birthday... Today because where he is its a day ahead of us and tomorrow because his birthday is the 24... So I dont know what day to tell him Happy Birthday... I guess I'll just do both.
Happy Birthday Joshua! XOXO
Okay and to think in 11 days I'm going to be 18... Yes our birthdays are a week apart. But hes turning 20 so it really 2 years and a week.
But anyways, I need to finish getting ready...
<3 Megs
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| what song |
[22 Jan 2004|08:51pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
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What song, if any, reminds you of me?
<3 Megs
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| blah blah blah... |
[21 Jan 2004|07:40pm] |
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anxious |
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music |
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Sara Evans |
] |
Hello everyone...
I hope everyones day went well. My day was pretty good.
I stayed the night over at my friend Crytals house last night and we went to Target at like 10 pm and then to the store for ice cream at like 10 to 1...
We are such dorks... but its okay. I was fun.
We decided that next week we are going to go shopping for our guys for V-day because I have to send my crap out soon-ish. I sent Joshua stuff for christmas like on the 17th or something and he didnt get it until almost a month later...
Crazy mail
Hey at least hes getting something for V-day, right?
So, Crystal and I have decided that V-day I'm going go over to her house and we are going to cry. And talk about how much we love our boys and get drunk... Sounds good to me... I guess its better then crying alone in your room.
I guess thats all...
<3 Megs
LOA Joshua
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| Long time no post~! |
[19 Jan 2004|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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Wow! I havent posted in a long time.
Sorry all!
I just commented in most of your journals and I'll be commenting more when I have something to say.
So, tonight I went out with my friend Crystal to talk to her and try to get her mind off her boyfriend that just left today to go back to Pen for more training.
This is the first time she has had to say hi and bye to the one she loves in a matter of weeks. Need less to say she needed to have someone that knows how it feels. I think thats why we are getting so close because you all know Joshua is in the military and I have learned how to cope when this are hard. Sure I still have really bad days and by no means am I saying I have all the anwsers or even have a 1/4 of them. But I do know that when it hurts so bad that you sometimes need a friend that understands how you feel.
So, we went to dinner and watched Fear Factor (Dont watch this when you are eating... I learned it the hard way.) and we went to the collage to get books for her because she starts her classes tomorrow.
*Quick question: What is up with guys? Will they hit on any thing with legs?*
I asked this because when we were at the collage I got hit on by 5 different guys and we were only there for like 30 mins...
And I'll just say it, I looked like ass! I had no make up on I was wearing a part of my riding pants with a hole below my butt and I had my hair pulled back in a messy bun.
Sure Joshua says I always look good... and thats a lie!!! I really have to work hard to look good.
So, after all that I just pushed up my sleeves so that everyone could see Joshua high school ring on my left hand and that made them stop hitting on me...
Thank you Joshua for your ring... ::kisses::
Other then that my day was quiet just like I like it...
Nite time
<3 Megs
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| Oh my goodness |
[16 Jan 2004|01:01pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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music |
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Toby Keith Shock'N Y'all |
] |
I just got this CD last night and I love it!!!
Its sooo funny... Of course we all love the the song
( American Soldier )
But the one that go me laughing the hardest is
( The Taliban Song )
I'm truly sorry if that offends anyone.
<3 Megs
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| Whimp! |
[15 Jan 2004|08:39am] |
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mood |
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moody |
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Okay,
I'm going to start by saying sorry to all of my friends because I haven't been posting anything or commenting.
SO, SORRY!!!! I have have been pretty busy and stuff getting ready to move my horse back closer to where I live.
So, yesterday my dog took a pretty big chunk of skin from her side. Its wasnt bleeding or anything so I wasnt really the worried about it... I just cleaned it up and put some Fura Dress on it (I love this stuff its for dogs and horses and I use it on my horse all the time.)and put a bandage on it.
This morning I wake up and my dad tells me he's taking her to the vet to see if she needs stitches.
I had every intention of going because thats one of my babies. So, we call her normal vet and he happened to be out of town. Then my dad called a vet that he took my cat to when she was sick.
This cat was my world almost I couldnt sleep without her on my bed. She would fallow me around like a dog. she was just the greatest. My dad taking her to that vet was the last time I saw her. So, today I couldnt bring myself to go to the vet because thats the last place my cat was and to this day I still want to kill myself for not going.
*Okay, just so you all know this thing with my cat isnt something that was a long time ago or anything. I guess it was around the middle of November. And I still have a hard time sleeping because shes no longer with us.*
I started to cry after I told my dad that I think I just want him to go and then he asked me why and I was already trying to hold back the tears and as I went to tell him they just rounded out.
Has anyone else had this problem?
Anyway, last night I went shopping with some of my old friends and had a blast. We went out to eat and went to the mall nothing big. It was just nice to feel like I have a life.
I got a birthday card for my man and this really cute book to put his letters he sends me in. This book has the American flag in beads on the cover. I figured why not because it was 50% off so it was only $8. So, I figured that if his letters are to big to fit in it I can always use it for something else.
I think thats all for now...
<3 Megs
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| A little something. |
[13 Jan 2004|05:20pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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Oaky I just wanted to write alittle something about my day before I run out of here to go get grain for my horse.
Today was pretty quiet. I worked out for about an hour this morning and went for a run with my dog. One of my friends from high school gave me a call. which was really nice to hear. And it turns out that she is now best friends with my best friend in grade school and middle school. So, I may go out with them tonight but i really dont know. I'm going to be commenting on everyones journal as soon as i get home...
<3 Megs
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| New layout |
[12 Jan 2004|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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nothing yet! |
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Hello everyone!
As you can see I was really bored today and I decided to change my layout.
Tell me what you think.
So, today I got my letter from Joshua!!!
Yippee
It was so nice and like I was thinking it made me cry. I think he wrote it just to make me cry.
Just kidding I know my love wouldnt do that.
This letter made all my letters look bad it was like two legal size pages and he used all the lines on them. Me I just write on notebook paper and its only one page... I feel like a loser. but thats life.
Anyways, I know as long as I have this letter I will never think that he doesnt love me and if I start thinking that all I have to do is read the first page.
The first page is all about why he loves me. I'm not going to quote it because it just those little things all of us girls love to hear but really never hear from our guys. I dont know its just great!
But thats all I really have to talk about right now. So, I'm going go run and then go read my letter again!!!
<3 Megs
LOA Joshua
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| New layout |
[12 Jan 2004|03:04pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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nothing yet! |
] |
Hello everyone!
As you can see I was really bored today and I decided to change my layout.
Tell me what you think.
So, today I got my letter from Joshua!!!
Yippee
It was so nice and like I was thinking it made me cry. I think he wrote it just to make me cry.
Just kidding I know my love wouldnt do that.
This letter made all my letters look bad it was like two legel size pages and he used all the lines on them. Me I just write on notebook paper and its only one page... I feel like a loser. but thats life.
Anyways, I know as long as I have this letter I will never think that he doesnt love me and if I start thinking that all I have to do is read the first page.
The first page is all about why he loves me. I'm not going to quote it because it just those little things all of us girls love to hear but really never hear from our guys. I dont know its just great!
But thats all I really have to talk about right now. So, I'm going go run and then go read my letter again!!!
<3 Megs
LOA Joshua
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| I cant believe it! |
[11 Jan 2004|07:19pm] |
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mood |
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intimidated |
] |
I was just noticing that no one has really written anything in the journals today so I have not one to comment to. Ahhhh! What do you people think your doing to me? Well, I guess it is only 7.20 pm so most of you havent gotten home from your busy lives... Me on the other hand I dont really have a life right now but thats okay.
Okay, this going to sound really bad but I'm starting to get really scared of my little brother. Sure hes only 13 but hes close to 6'0" but heres why I'm really scared of him:
Today has been pretty quite around my house and I have been watching my brothers eating habits because I'm noticing him do things that I use to do... (at one time i had a eating disorder.) like he didnt eat breakfast or dinner and all he had today was an apple. So, I was coming up stairs because i just finished dinner and as i walk by my brother I went to pinch him on the side because thats one thing I have always done and he walk by me and tickles me or something... But this time as i went to pinch him he pushs me into one of our poles in our basement that hold up the I beam. It wasnt just a push like get away it was hard and I'm all bruised up on my side and my dad thinks I cracked a rib. I guess what I'm scared of is I see him getting my dads temper and thats not good! My dad has always had a really bad temper at times and I to this day am so scare when he gets mad about anything it really bugs me that my brother is getting it too. But I guess theres nothing I can really do. Just stay out of his way.
Anyways, I need to go lay down... Talk to you all later.
<3 Megs
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